03 February 2015

The Final Countdown

T-minus 3 days until my due date and I'm pretty sure Baby Remy #2 is going to take after his big brother and not show up on time. In fact, at this point I get the feeling he's never going to come. On the one hand, that's great news because I have so much homework to do and, now that all the painting is done, we have to move back in to our house. On the other hand, I'm super exhausted and having a baby would be a great excuse not to show up to work and spend two days in the hospital doing nothing but cuddling our baby.
My cold is finally subsiding but my mom is still not free to travel and my sister who lives at home got whooping cough so I don't know if my mom would be allowed around the baby anyway. It's so ridiculous. 
The last two nights we stayed in a hotel just across the street from our house since the painters weren't finished until yesterday. We took William swimming for almost two hours and it felt great to be in the pool. When I was pregnant with William we went to the Provo Rec Center a few times right at the end of my pregnancy. I remember that getting out of the pool was the worst feeling in the world. This time, it wasn't bad at all. 
I did not sleep last night. It was awful and I'm so tired today. I'm not looking forward to going home to a disaster and a pile of homework. I had better not go in to labor today because I simply don't have the energy for that. A friend of mine told me that the body won't go in to labor if we're sick or overly tired. I'd like to believe that but then this baby will never get born. It doesn't help that there is no official plan with my doctor for if this baby doesn't come on his own. With William I knew that if I got to 41 weeks, I had a time set up at the hospital to go in and get things going. This time, nothing is set up yet. I have an appointment on Friday morning; we'll probably make a plan at that appointment.
Even though my due date is, technically, 3 days away, I still can't believe I'm going to have another baby. I haven't really bonded to this pregnancy like I did with William. I'm not sure why that is but it probably has to do with the fact that there is so much going on that I just don't have the time to process anything. With William I wasn't going to be in school so I only had to focus on healing and bonding with him in the six weeks I had off work. This time I've got three classes (plus two starting in March), another kid, and a house that looks like we just moved in. I'm feeling very much the same way I did at the beginning of this pregnancy: what were we thinking? In my exhaustion it's hard to remember the answers to prayer we received and it's hard to have faith that everything will work out. Whenever I start to freak out to my mom she reminds me that in 103 days from today (yes, that is exactly 100 days from my due date) I will be graduating with my master's degree and that is something I will have for the rest of my life. I can only "keep moving forward" as they say in Meet the Robinsons. 

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